We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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