I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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