I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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