if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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