i jhust puked up my retainher.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize