Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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