Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize