his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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