i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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