So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize