He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize