There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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