Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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