I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize