when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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