My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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