JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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