Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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