There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize