How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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