I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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