operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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