This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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