He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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