They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize