In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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