i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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