Umm I'm too high to move.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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