i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize