I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize