All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize