it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize