you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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