My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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