Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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