honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He shit in the fireplace
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