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I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
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