Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please

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  (585): the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please http://tfl.nu/85bu
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.

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  (303): I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants. http://tfl.nu/0mqu
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low

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  (615): Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low http://tfl.nu/4tyo
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  (310): View more from California

  Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.

  (310): View more from California

  I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.

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  (310): Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail. (310): I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore. http://tfl.nu/tf34
  Replies (11) Good night (3534) Bad night (844)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...

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  (330): When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward... http://tfl.nu/3xfe
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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  (201): just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit. http://tfl.nu/jcis
  Replies (16) Good night (4728) Bad night (1476) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.

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  (515): This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking. http://tfl.nu/zh63
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.

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  (717): She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer. http://tfl.nu/9691
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.

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  (910): I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about. http://tfl.nu/tvk3
  Replies (4) Good night (3890) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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  (415): I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number? http://tfl.nu/po3x
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?

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  (614): Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team? http://tfl.nu/idfg
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  (904): View more from Florida

  its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.

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  (904): its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go. http://tfl.nu/zvzo
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  (626): View more from California

  So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?

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  (626): So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room? http://tfl.nu/5xcr
  Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (2017) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think that's mostly how we became friends.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.

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  (817): I think that's mostly how we became friends. (1-817): Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me. http://tfl.nu/n6nc
  Replies (9) Good night (1647) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.

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  (718): It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail. http://tfl.nu/rl3q
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