Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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