his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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