Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
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We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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