Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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