Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
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His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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