So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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