real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i permit you to call me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
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Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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