My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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