**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize