I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
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I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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