Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize