I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Randomize